Hello beautiful people,
Last time I wrote I was in Boston, days
away from leaving and embarking to Israel for my birthright trip and my
extended stay in Tel Aviv. Being in Israel has created many interesting
situations, conflicts, and challenges, but I think the one that has been
most interesting for me is this feeling of being a stranger yet at
home. I've had the opportunity to explore this in a number of ways and
deal with this somewhat unique circumstance.
Taglit
The birthright program is actually called
Taglit-Birthright, Taglit being the Hebrew word for it. I prefer that
word because it is less politically charged. The concept of Birthright
implies that as a Jew you have a right to visit Israel. I find that idea
a little absurd. Taglit means something along the lines of discovery or
exploration. In any case, the trip itself was pretty amazing, I admit
to my surprise. The purported brainwashing element was pretty weak, and
fairly subtle. It mostly consisted of things like taking us to the
Holocaust museum Yad Vashem and arguing that Israel needs to exist so
that the IDF can prevent a future Holocaust. But for the most part we
just toured around and got to hang out with each other, hike around, and
learned some ancient history. In my opinion the most important element
of the way Taglit shapes the experience is in bringing all of us there
and showing us the beautiful and thriving part of Israel and ignoring
the ugly and oppressive side that exists in so much of it. Also, the
program knows that many groups would be resistant to propaganda being
shoved down their throat, and they are not interested in it. Most of
what they are interested in is strengthening a bond with Israel through
personal experience and personal connections so that when donation time
comes around in a few years, various Jewish lobbies will be on our
minds.
Part of what allowed the experience to be as tame as it was had to
do with the group. The group of people primarily split between those who
didn't know much about the situation and therefore were pretty
impartial, those who didn't know much and were inclined to be
sympathetic to the plight of the Palestinians, and those who were more
educated about the situation and were sympathetic to the plight of the
Palestinians. As a result, anytime some of the headier rhetoric came up,
people mostly scoffed or argued back, and I think that led our guide to
tone it down.
Political leanings and rhetoric aside, the trip was a lot of fun. We
had a surprisingly amazing group. 39 participants and two American
guides. The group was older, most people 25 or 26 and a few 27. Of
course it's not possible to be best friends with everybody in a group
this large, but there wasn't really anyone who I didn't get along with, a
lot of people who I had a good connection with, and a decent number who
I had a really great connection with. In the end, that's what really
makes a trip like this, the people. Not only is there so much down time
and bus time, but even walking around, looking, observing, and
experiencing with people making frustrating comments is a painful
experience, with people from whom I distance myself is boring, but with
people who enhance the experience it makes it that much more
entertaining and interesting. We had a fairly wide spread group coming
from all over the country and in some cases the world. Most people were
undergoing big transitions, starting new jobs, starting a new degree,
about to finish a degree, or floating around with a less clear path. It
created a supportive atmosphere of mutual appreciation and
understanding.
The actual events planned for the trip were also pretty great. The
number and extent of the outdoor activities was not thrilling, but
enough to give us a break from the city and from ruins. Lots of
swimming, sunrise in the desert, a little bit of mountain biking. It was
a good mix of things and allowed me to get to know Israel that much
better.
One of the most interesting elements was visiting Israel as a
tourist and with a big group of folks from the US. In the past, I had
always been in Israel with my family, spending most of my time visiting
family and friends. Now all of the sudden I was with a massive group of
people from the US, many of which had never been to Israel, and all of
which viewed Israel as a foreign country. Seeing Israel through their
eyes provided a new perspective. I always say that the best way to get
to know a place you live in is to take a tourist with you, because
they'll point out the things you never thought of. In the same way, my
fellow birthright participants would be surprised, entertained, shocked,
and impressed by things that seemed normal to me, that had been with me
in some way all of my life.
Transitioning Out
The first week after Taglit was a crazy
whirlpool of events, adjustments and attempts to settle from an
unsettled position. I went to stay with some family who live in a small
village only a few km outside of Kfar Saba, which is 20 some km away
from Tel Aviv. In Israel terms these are distinct urban areas, but in
the US it's about equivalent to the distance from Arlington to Mattapan,
from Beaverton to 82nd. I didn't have a bike at first though, which
meant I felt a little trapped. The first challenge was dealing with an
overwhelming amount of stuff that I felt I had to accomplish in order to
get settled: finding a bike, finding a job, finding a community to
connect with, joining some sort of activist movement, meeting family and
friends around the country etc. I would put in several hours a day and
feel like I had more ahead of me when I finished than when I started.
Then there were all of the events, planned and unplanned, that crowded
things even more. My dad came to Israel for a visit. It was great to see
him again. One thing I've started wishing is that I could see everyone
in my family more often. As far as settling in, it made things much
easier in some ways because he was able to drive me around to get
places, but also it was a challenge because I wanted to spend time with
him which split up my time even more. And between all of that I was
trying to find time to hang out with the Taglit people still in Israel
before they all left.
To add to the madness, my grandmother went into the hospital the day
after my dad arrived, and I spent most of that day at the hospital. She
passed away the next day. A lot of people were coming and making sure I
was ok after it happened, where as really it was mostly a good thing.
My grandmother was suffering from a number of illness, including
Alzheimer's. For over a year now she hasn't really been able to
recognize anyone are have any idea what's going on, and for a while now
she spent most of her time unconscious, waking up usually only when she
was suffering from pain or suffocating because of a breathing
complication. It was generally agreed that it was better for her to
rest. The funeral that followed was another weird ceremony. This was the
third funeral I had ever attended, and though the first one was in
Israel, I can't remember it. This one was strange because it collected a
small amount of family that I don't know and that my family is not well
connected with. No one was really sad. I felt like most people were
there out of a sense of duty, some of them family friends who came to
comfort and support grieving family members that were non existent
because no one was really grieving. Her passing also extended my dad's
stay and meant I got to see my uncle for possibly the last time since he
is not on the best terms with my family.
On another not so happy note, during this week I also went on a tour
with a group called Breaking the Silence. I highly recommend it for
anyone visiting Israel. The tour takes you into the West Bank, either
into Hebron or the South Hebron Hills, and explains about much of the
crazy things that go on there that are difficult to even comprehend, and
that are the make up of day to day life for many Palestinians. There
wasn't much new information for me, but there were many new specific
details, many new ways of piecing together information I already had and
the powerful experience of seeing the destruction first hand and
hearing about the conditions from Palestinians themselves. I think it is
crucial to have these experiences in order to truly understand what is
happening in the occupied territories today.
Integrating in Tel Aviv
The past two weeks or so I've
started getting integrated and settled in Tel Aviv. I got a bike and am
starting to get to know the city. I managed to get a job at a restaurant
at the Tel Aviv port (no longer a functional port, just a tourist
area). I make pizza, sauces for pasta, and salads. Finding the job was
great. I was very concerned because Tel Aviv is not know as a place
where it's easy to find work and I'm staying for such a short time. But
since then I've seen help wanted notices on every other food service
place. I guess minimum or near minimum wage service jobs are easy to
come by. I am now convinced I could have found something else had I not
taken this job. The job is for the most part alright. The bosses were
kind of assholes at first but I think I have proven myself sufficiently
competent that they have started treating me more nicely and with more
respect. The coworkers are not the greatest, most of them are in their
last year of high school or straight out of high school and I'm getting a
little too old to enjoy mingling with the average 17 or 18 year old. My
main coworker is a guy from Eritrea. He's alright for the most part,
but his Hebrew is a little shoddy so we have a hard time communicating
at times and can't really converse. The hardest part is that during this
holiday season they are asking me to do a lot of hours, more than 40 a
week, and sometimes in 12 hour shifts. Between taking up a lot of my
time, it is also exhausting so I've been struggling to accomplish
anything else. But on the bright side many hours means more money which
will help me balance the negative that I built up re buying stolen items
and paying my way to the US from Chile, and even to build up a little
bit of funds for my next destination.
I have made some headway in reaching out and meeting people. I found
this cool vegan coop that I am staying at right now, and some of the
people in it run a bicycle coop-like thing across the street. The main
things I need to work on are connections to activism, and on being
present and deliberate about spending time with people so I can get to
know them and get to know the community.
A challenging element that I've been faced with here and am now
trying to find different approaches to is the difficulty of being
simultaneously foreign and native. By appearance, I pass for Israeli
right away. As for my Hebrew, although I have somewhat of an accent and
make weird mistakes, it sounds natural enough that most people assume
it's a speaking problem or bad grammar instead of assuming a foreign
upbringing until well into a conversation. This creates a lot of weird
situation where I talk to someone and they will make a geographical
reference, a pop culture reference, a reference to something political,
something in the army, some recent historical event, something that any
Israeli would know and understand right away, and I just sit there
clueless. Or someone might ask me to read or write something not
understanding how much more difficult it is for me, how bad the spelling
errors in the writing might be, how slow I am at reading. None of it is
detrimental, and I am not particularly embarrassed to tell people about
my situation, but it creates an awkward disconnect. I am reminded by
the movie At First Sight. For those who haven't seen it, the main
character is blind since the age of 2 and sometime in his 30s or 40s he
undergoes surgery and regains his vision. The problem is he remains
functionally blind. He can see objects but doesn't know how to recognize
them by sight. He can't read. He doesn't understand the concept of
transparent objects like windows. He complains that while he was blind,
he didn't have to explain anything, everyone could tell he was blind and
although he had to deal with discrimination against the blind, at least
all services and interactions accounted for his limited ability. On the
other hand, once he regained his vision everyone treats him as a fully
capable and able person but he's not quite there. I feel somewhat in the
same situation. When I was in Ecuador, Chile, Panama, China, etc.
everyone treated me as a foreigner from the minute they saw me. The
different treatment often bothered me and frustrated me, but it meant
that my needs were generally catered to, and when I took on certain
challenges of reading something or got a reference, I was complimented
on my abilities. Here I don't get the annoying different treatment that
foreigners receive, but I also can't integrate as smoothly as I would
like.
In other words, I don't know how to think of myself. How to define
myself in this context. I am stuck somewhere in the middle, somewhere
between foreigner and local. It will be interesting to see how much this
identity will shift and in which directions during my time here.
The Future
I like to include this part every time so that
if any of you will be near by and overlap with me we can make plans to
meet up. Currently the thought is to stay in Tel Aviv until the first or
second week of November and then to head to a port city and start
looking for water passage to South East Asia. I have to leave Israel one
way or the other by mid December, so it gives me a month to find my way
out to whatever destination I end up at. The hope is that I find
something that will take me to South Eat Asia and that from where ever I
land I can make my way to Thailand and spend some time there. If that
works out, I plan on going up and spending some time in China after, and
in all likely hood I will be on the West Coast of the US, mostly in
Portland, during the summer of 2013. I hope to see you somewhere along
the way.
Much love and good luck with your journeys
