Happy Halloween, or to celebrate what I think is the more important holiday, happy birthday Robs Foley and Townsend!
The last month has been a whirlwind mix of settling down and getting unsettled simultaneously. I find myself ever more connected to Tel Aviv, and at the same time I spend less and less time here. There has been a lot of confusion and anxiety, but overall I'm very happy with what I have done and what I have waiting before me.
Battling Expectations
Up until coming to Israel, I have arrived everywhere with pretty much no agenda. My plan was to meet people and explore communities. At the same time I wanted to contribute to the environment around me and improve my language skills if in a non-English speaking country. This could all be accomplished by looking for activities, groups, jobs, etc. that interested me in said city and trying to meet people and connect. I had one track. Israel has posed a different challenge because I had expectations of what I would do here. On the one hand I wanted the same connection with people and communities, but I also want to visit family and friends around the country, I want to volunteer, I want to work, I want to be politically active around Palestine and visit Palestine, and I want to work on my Hebrew in a serious way that simply chatting with people would not offer me. The first difficulty is that I don't have the mental and emotional energy to fit all of that into the short amount of time I have here. Certainly not when added onto basic life needs and finding and exploring all of these directions by myself. The second problem was, if a cool opportunity arose, but it was not in the list, do I go for it or not? For example, I heard about a cool backpacking trip that was highly recommended to me, but that would draw time away from connecting with people in the city, and from working with Palestinian solidarity groups, so should I go or not? I decided to go on that trip (more on that later) but it always had a trade off. I worked like crazy until early October to secure my financial situation, but therefore had no time for anything, and then stopped working to have more time, and therefore I am more concerned about money. Always a trade off. Another learning experience.
Finding a Home in Tel Aviv
In the last few weeks I have been developing and deepening my feeling of connection to Tel Aviv. At the heart of it is the vegan coop or communa near the central station. I stayed at the communa for a week near the beginning of my time in Tel Aviv and was able to build a strong connection with a number of people there but more importantly to the general vibe of the place. It is full of interesting and varied characters who are constantly leaving and communa as new ones arrive: students, musicians, a Russian family, a woman who loves to study all subjects, a passionate and innovative man always working on a new project, a very strange dog, a tiny kitten, artists, and the new member I have yet to meet. Each person has had a lot to teach me and I have had many interesting and enlightening conversations there. But it has also become my home base. Whenever I am sitting around and not sure what to do I just go there to hang out. Sometime I hang out by myself but usually there is at least someone there to talk to or be with. It's also been a fountain of information for me. I go there to ask specific people specific questions that I know they have knowledge about, but I also just go to learn and absorb. I have become a connoisseur of coops during my travels, or at least I like to think of my self as one, and so I enjoy seeing the inner workings of the communa, the good, the bad, and everything in between. Beyond that, I hear people mention events and organizations around the city, and become better connected through their networks. They have provided me with an amazing, inviting, warm place to be and to connect.
But it is not just the communa that has helped me feel at home in Tel Aviv. I've also been particularly fortunate with couchsurfing and other hosts. I may have had one or two that were only good, but for the most part my experiences have ranged from great to spectacular. Feeling comfortable, happy, and connected in the place where I go to sleep and wake up is another way to make me feel like I belong. I've even invited my hosts along to various activities that I go to around the city. Even if they can't come I'm still entertained because couchsurfing hosts always get a kick out of their guests inviting them to something in the city where they live. I realized how many people I had around me on my birthday when I invited everyone I knew in Tel Aviv to the beach and a decent number of people showed up. I had a great time with everybody. And that was a month ago, my community only continues to expand and grow deeper.
Perhaps the most affirming feeling of home comes from riding around the streets, especially after being away from a bit. Coming back from one of the trips I was recently on, I swooped down into south Tel Aviv and felt a weight lift off of my shoulders, I felt a sense of coming back and being comfortable and familiar coursing through me. It's humorous that south Tel Aviv, particularly the area around the central bus station, inspires in me this sense of comfort and belonging. This is perhaps the slummiest area of Tel Aviv, populated almost exclusively by refugees and temporary foreign workers. The area is known for drugs and prostitution. Many people think it's very dangerous, say they wouldn't go here, and certainly not at night. I think that's mostly bullshit, but regardless, as soon as I enter and see all the people, hear the Eritrean and Sudanese music, see all the flashing lights, hear the noises and the languages I don't recognize, smell the garbage, the fumes, the city, I'm mesmerized, enchanted and excited. Tonight, this is home.
Trips Away and Bigger Adventures
I was working non-stop until October 8th, and then I more or less quit, in part so I could take some more trips outside of Tel Aviv. One of the more interesting trips I took was the Lakatim trip. Lakatim means gatherers in Hebrew. The premise of the trip is: a group of people meet at some spot and then travel about in a certain area gathering all of our own food. There are no electronic allowed on the trip. And much of the time is spent in various activities that are meant to connect the group, connect between individuals, or connect us to our surroundings. Others described it simply as learning to open the heart. I'm not suppose to mention too many details so as not to ruin the experience for anyone who might go, but I'll mention a few things and the way they impacted me. The group is very heavy into what I can only term as hippie-dippy language and philosophy. You are welcome to check out their website here https://sites.google.com/site/
One of my big take aways from the trip came toward the very end, and I've only really begun to understand and process in the last few days, about a week after the trip ended. We had an activity where we described a vision for ourselves, a more tangible target, and then a realizable step that we could take that week in order to move toward our goal. I had a number of things cross my mind, but I settled on what I phrased then as taking more risks and being more adventurous. My step was to hitchhike back from the trip, which ended up being easy because I went all the way with a pro hitchhiker. The more I thought about it though, the more I realized risk and adventure don't properly capture what is going on inside of me. What I want is to challenge myself, to push my comfort zone. I firmly believe that pushing my comfort zone, presenting myself with real challenges, and entering the situation not 100% sure how it'll come out, is the best way to learn and is also the most exhilarating and rewarding way to stimulate myself. If you look back to the first posts, at the beginning of my trip, survival filled that need. Not knowing where I'll sleep next week, always trying to find free food, that was challenging and exciting. Then it was seeking out community and making connections. Than it was trying to make it all work in a foreign country. Then it was traversing massive distances by land. But each time, my comfort zone increased, and that which was exhilarating became normal. I'm no longer too excited by or perturbed by my sleeping or food situation. Even if I don't know where I'll sleep that night I feel very relaxed. I'm less nervous and anxious around new people. Buses seem cozy and inviting. I think I began to get bored with myself because the challenges were no longer challenging. I wasn't pushing myself. My vow to myself is to keep finding ways to do things that make me uncomfortable, to seek out adventure even if it's inconvenient.
I've had a couple of opportunities to do this so far. During my crazy week of work where I did 80 hours in 8 days, my aunt invited me to Friday night dinner. My aunt is an hour and a half bike ride from my work and I had to try to get out of work early, but she wanted it to be a birthday dinner and it was my only opportunity to see so many cousins and their kids at once. At first I insisted I couldn't make it because of work, but as I realized how complicated it would be I got uncontrollably excited and decided that I would make it happen. Making it happen meant working a 15 hour shift on Thursday, working six hours on Friday, riding 28 km (17 miles) eating dinner, waking up at 7am to ride the 28 kms back and make it to work by 9:30, to work another 13.5 hour shift. I was tired but I was in ecstasy. Then, last week I had a plan to bike to Rishon, Rehovot, and then Jerusalem. Rishon and Rehovot were for visits on my list. Jerusalem was to volunteer with a Palestinian solidarity organization. The ride from Rehovot to Jerusalem is about 50 km (30 miles) and the last 20 or so km are all hills. Long somewhat steep hills. People kept psyching me out about the ride, but I was determined. Then the day before I was told the volunteer organization cancelled the tour, but I was going to visit a friend and I was sold on the ride, so I decided to go anyway. I wanted adventure. I left later than I had planned so I was worried about riding in the dark. A bit before hitting the hills, I realized my bike rack had broken, so I tied it but from there on out I had to carry most of my stuff on my back. A little bit later I noticed my rear brakes were rubbing, and while trying to adjust them I figured out the wheel was out of true, and trying to true it I noticed I had a broken spoke. I sat down and laughed for about 10 minutes. I chose adventure so adventure chose me back. I had the phone in my hand ready to call the friends who hosted me who said they could pick me up if I had any problems. Then I thought about my mission to push myself, to have more adventures. I put the phone away, trued the wheel the best I could, and rode the rest of the way in the dark without a front light (dead battery), lots of lighting on the horizon, most of my stuff on my back as my by racked swayed back and forth, and my back wheel danced in the frame. The best part was, I couldn't stop laughing. The best adventures happen not despite but because everything goes wrong. I felt great when I finally arrived in Jerusalem. I'm excited to see what other adventures I'll have the opportunity to embark on. You can look forward to fresh and exciting updates.
Future Plans
My thoughts of maybe going to Thailand have turned into a determination to go to Thailand. Around November 20th I will start looking for a ship to take me to South East Asia, and if I run out of time I will either go to Egypt to keep looking or I will go to Turkey to do the land route, most likely via Georgia, Azerbaijan, Kazakhstan, China, Laos. From there the thought is still to go spend a few months in China and then spend the summer in Portland. So I have no dearth of adventure possibilities ahead of me
I hope you are safe and well and enjoying your own adventures,
